Choice
by wingless'd
Summary: An exploration of Aerith's journey to the City of the Ancients and what she experienced at that time.


In the darkness, the voices were loud.

She heard them, and knew what they asked her. So close to the earth now, far away from Midgar, their voices surrounded her. The harsh ones, the dear ones, the worried ones. She heard them all, no matter where she was. Sometimes they spoke in whispers, sometimes in twos, sometimes only a single voice reached her by shouting. But they were all there, waiting for her, calling her. She felt their presence every step of the way, and it comforted her.

Tonight, their voices were combined with the screams of a Planet that knew danger approached.

Tears slid down her cheek in the black of a night that seemed to have no end. She could feel the Planet's pain; she could hear her people begging her to save it. But Cloud… Cloud needed her. She was afraid, for him. If she left, he would follow. He would be in danger, and she didn't want that. She wanted him free, free of the taint that Sephiroth had left in him, of the haunting sadness that was always a part of his beautiful blue eyes. He could not be free and follow her to where the voices wanted her to go.

It was Cloud or Cloud in the end. Cloud or Cloud and the Planet. The choice was blatantly obvious, yet it was difficult. If she left them all, left Cloud in the safety of friends and companions, she could save the future for him. If she stayed… She could comfort him when he awoke, blaming himself.

She knew he would blame himself. He always did. He would think that what he'd done yesterday was his fault, that he could have controlled himself. And he would torture himself for it. In the shadows, her fingers brushed at her cheek, where it was bruised from his hand. Sephiroth had some kind of control over Cloud, and she knew that it would take them a while to find its source. But Sephiroth had the Black Materia. He had to be stopped.

She slipped out of the covers of the bed, then turned and gently smoothed out the creases. A remnant of home, of her old life. Making beds, tending flowers. She was more than that now, and less. She glanced at the sky peeking through the curtains and saw that there was no moon. It was a dark night indeed.

She reached for her short coat and pulled it over her shoulders. Grabbing her staff, she left the room without a sound. She paused at the door and glanced down the hallway, toward the room where Cloud was. She wanted to see him, but she knew that Tifa would be there, and she could not afford to be seen. She smiled softly in the direction of his door. Tifa would take care of him for now. Then she would return, and he would be fine. She nodded firmly and then slipped out of the inn in which the team was staying.

She left Gongaga without looking back; their voices swelled from the ground, pulling her away from him and from the present. The future enveloped her completely. Her eyes narrowed in determination, and she quickened her pace. Their voices told her where she had to go—to a forest in the far north. She smiled slightly as she passed the Tiny Bronco, waiting silently for Cid's piloting skills. She would not need it tonight.

She walked to the chocobo tracks and closed her eyes. Going deep inside of her, to the part of her that could touch the Planet itself, she reached. Reached and found what she was looking for: one of the rare gold chocobos that lived in the wild. She called it, and it came.

She waited for it, and her eyes fell across the river to the Gold Saucer. Her heart ached in the familiar way it did when she thought of Cloud. He had been so sweet that night, so shy. He'd been embarrassed to play the Prince in that play, but he'd done it for her. And he'd kissed her hand, as though she were a precious Princess he wanted to protect. She bit her lip and looked down at her hand, remembering. There would be other times. She nodded firmly and smiled. Next time, she would hold his hand on the Gondola ride. Next time.

The chocobo came, and it nuzzled her shoulder. She wrapped her arms around it and buried her face in its feathers, finding comfort in its softness. She hated to be alone, but she had to do this on her own. She was the only one who could. Steeling herself, she mounted the chocobo and turned it to the north.

The forest loomed in the north, hinting at the magic and mystery that it held within its branches.

The power of her people's voices strengthened as she drew nearer to the forest. The seat of Cetra power was contained within it. The Sleeping Forest; she would have to awaken it. And within its boundaries lay the City of the Cetra, the home she had longed to reach. Only there would she find enough power to do what must be done, to stop Meteor from even beginning. She pushed the chocobo a little farther, toward the sleeping village that nestled near the opening of the forest.

She reached the village and let the chocobo go. It bobbed its head toward her and cooed at her. She laughed and gave it a farewell hug, watching as it raced away. Then she entered the village. Its people were still asleep, and it seemed to be an excavation site. She laughed quietly as she looked around. It would be so much fun to return here with Cloud. She'd have to ask him if he wanted to try digging sometime.

Her smile slid away, ghost-like, as she thought of Cloud. He would be afraid, if she didn't warn him where she was. She had not thought of that; she had only thought of how dangerous it would be if he followed her. Torn between the alternatives of telling him and not telling him, she froze in the center of the excavation site. He would follow if she told him, no matter what. But he would kill himself searching for her if she did not tell him. She shook her head, laughing a little, and continued to walk toward the entrance. The choice was obvious; she'd have to risk him finding her.

She stood in the entrance of the forest, surrounded by the power emanating from it. It would be simple to reach him now; the power of the Cetra was unfettered here. It would become even more so as she went further into the forest. She reached out and touched the bark of two of the trees, gathering strength from the earth itself. Her eyelids slid shut as she descended. When she had reached the core of her power, she searched for him among the living. And there, there he was, his dreams filled with nightmares and pain. Her heart ached for him, but she pushed it aside and reached for the bond that shone like a thread between them. Then she tugged, gently, playfully, calling his dream to focus on her.

And then he was there, in front of her, his eyes full of sorrow and pain.

She poked her head around the tree, her smile soft. "Cloud? Can you hear me?"

He did not lift his head; his eyes were downcast. But he at last said, "Yeah, I can hear you. Sorry for what happened."

An overwhelming urge to throw her arms around him hit her, but she shoved it back. It was a connecting vision, and physical contact might affect it. Instead, she slipped completely into view, her eyes looking away from him for a moment. "Don't worry about it."

She heard the pain and the self-blame in his voice as he whispered, "…I can't help it…"

She turned away from him, slipping behind the tree. "Oh," she remarked lightly. Smiling, she hopped out from behind the tree opposite the one she had just slipped behind. She glanced at him with a wink as he at last looked at her with startled eyes. "Then why don't you really worry about it?" she teased him. Her smile faded slightly as she came forward. Stopping herself, she continued, "And let me handle Sephiroth." His jaw dropped, and she couldn't resist laughing; he looked so comical. She vanished from view and reappeared behind another tree. His eyes widening as he watched her were worth keeping up the theatrics. She walked out from behind the tree. "And Cloud… You take care of yourself." She turned away, placing her hand on the tree. Gathering herself, she glanced back at him and teased off-handedly, "So you don't have a break-down, okay?"

He said nothing, and she pulled them both closer, using her power. She placed them in the forest so that he could actually see what it looked like.

She smiled as he looked around. "What is this place?" he asked her.

She tilted her head, folding her hands behind her back, and glanced up at the sky. Her voice wistful, she told him, "This forest leads to the City of the Ancients… and is called the Sleeping Forest." She leaned to look at him, watching his reaction. Her smile vanished as she said, "It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses Meteor. That's why I'm going to protect it. Only a survivor of the Cetra, like me, can do it." It was time to leave him, at last. Taking a deep breath, she turned away from him, walking toward the forest. After a moment, she stopped and turned back. Her good humor returned and she gestured toward the forest. "The secret is just up here." Uncertainty caught her for a moment, and she shook her head. "At least, it should be… I feel it. It feels like I'm being led by something." It was as close as she could come to telling him the truth.

Then she glanced at Cloud again, tilting her head to wink at him. Waving, she laughed and said teasingly, "Then, I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over."

She turned and ran, spreading the link between them back to normal length. Back to the length that separated them in reality.

It did not stop her from hearing his voice call her name.

"Aerith?"

She smiled and opened her eyes.

The forest was in front of her, and their voices called to her. She entered, without looking back.

She knew she had reached the city because the strength of their voices grew louder. She could begin to decipher individuals and the words they spoke. They were calling her, telling her what she needed to know. As she walked, the strength of conviction sustained her. She could hear their voices, and they would tell her what she had to do. She had been afraid of it—of the power within the orb that she had fastened into her hair. But now there was nothing to fear. The power was here, everywhere, in the earth itself. She would be able to reach it, no matter what.

The City appeared, and she stopped, her eyes widening. The spiritual energy that emanated from it was overwhelming. She wanted to kneel, to pray, to sing, anything that might allow that energy to flow into her and through her. This was home, the place she had longed to find.

She began to run along the path, unable to stop herself.

All thoughts flew out of her head save one: to save the Planet. Here, in this place, she could do it. Had she been frightened, before? Had she been concerned? No longer—now she knew exactly where to go and what to do.

She entered the city, and their voices rose to greet her. And, at last, she heard the one voice she had longed to hear for most of her life. Her mother. As she walked down paths long forgotten and long unused, her mother's voice whispered the instructions to her. Her feet traveled to the center spiral. She passed over the bridge to the island that held the altar of the Cetra. The moat surrounding it sparkled, welcoming her, and the voices called her name. She stopped, lifting her arms in the air, and spun for a moment, accepting the will of her people and the love of her Planet, soaking in the power that both gifted her with.

It was time.

She walked into the spiral and entered it. There, the guardian awaited her. It moved silently, opening the silver path to her feet. As she walked by it, she paused to bow to it. Then she moved on, down the silver path, into the glory that was the Cetras' altar. Everything around her sparkled with crystal and marble; she was overwhelmed with its beauty and elegance. It was a welcoming place, as her church in the slums had been a welcoming place. She had always felt at home in spiritual spots.

The altar was in the center of the room, across stepping-stones. She found that touching, and smiled. It was easy to hop from one to another to reach the platform of the altar. Here, the voice of her mother touched her gently, instructing her on how to pray for the Planet to activate its protection: Holy. Without a second thought, she knelt down upon the altar, folding her hands. Her eyes slid shut, and she descended.

Her core was alive with the new power flowing into her from the spirits of her people and the will of the Planet. She could feel the Planet's fear, its sorrow, but, more importantly, its great and abiding love. Her heart ached with the majesty and magnanimous nature of the Planet's deep emotions. The fear it felt of the Destroyer's darkness and of its beloved humans destroying it.

She opened herself to the Planet's emotions and allowed them to flow through her. She became its conduit, communing with it, sympathizing with it. Persuading it to save its people, its beloved humans. The humans she loved so dearly, more dearly than she loved even her own people.

She opened her life to the Planet, giving it what it needed. Her love for the woman who had raised her when her own mother had perished. Elmyra, a woman who had nothing to gain from taking in a strange child chased by the most powerful corporation on the Planet. Tseng, a man who she had loved as a child, a man who, even though he had betrayed her trust, still took care of her in his own way. Zack, the first love, the man she had lost before a future could even be discovered.

Her new friends—Tifa and Barret and Red and the others. The people who had come after her when she had been in trouble. She gave everything to the Planet, willingly. So that it could see how wonderful its humans were, and how worthy they were of protection.

And most of all, she gave Cloud to the Planet. Cloud, the one who never asked her for anything, who protected her for a mere date. The one who had been hurt the most and still had kept going. Cloud, Cloud she wanted to save more than anyone else. She gave the Planet her love for him and showed it how much she cherished him. Gentle Cloud, kind Cloud, laughing Cloud, sad Cloud. She gave everything she had ever known of him to the Planet, so that it would feel as she felt and save as she wanted to save.

Then the darkness descended, halting her communication. She knew that he was there, the one who would bring death to the Planet. She knew he waited, and what he waited for. She had to hurry; there was no choice now. Either she would save the Planet with her prayer or it would go unheard. But he was here, and one thing was very certain to her now. She dove deeper into the Planet's consciousness, revealing to it the desperation of the situation, the terror of Meteor.

But she was distracted. Why did he wait? Was it—

Fear pierced her heart and cut her off from the communion with the Planet.

Cloud. He was waiting for Cloud. He would have Cloud do everything; He was bringing Cloud here, to do what he had almost done in the Temple of the Ancients. She could not have that. Yet she could not leave; she was almost finished with the communion; the Planet was connected to her. She almost cried. There was a chance, that, if Cloud was here, she would live through this. She had to bring Cloud here, even if he blamed himself.

She reached into herself, into the power of the Planet and the power of her City, and called his name. It was a plea, a moment of fear.

When she heard him say her name, she knew she'd reached him.

Cloud came for her, as she'd known he'd come when she'd called his name.

She had descended back to the Planet's level after she'd called him. She and the Planet were now one being; she could feel its power flowing through her. At last, she had the power to call for Holy. She reached for it, touching the power that swirled in the orb fixed into her hair. She teased it, laughed at it, called for it.

At the same time, she heard him talking to the friends he had brought with him, outside of her level of descent. She felt the darkness moving above her, and a feeling of foreboding almost pulled her out of her trance-like state. She wanted to call for Cloud, to run to him and have him hold her and fight off all enemies for her. But she knew that saving him, that saving the world he lived in, was more important than having him save her. She did not allow her prayer to waver, even as she heard his footsteps upon the stepping-stones.

She caught Holy and held it; it was there, alive and swirling. It was time to summon it.

She heard him step onto the platform. She wanted to call to him, to tell him not to come any closer. But the prayer took all of her attention, and she could not stop him. The danger was coming, yet she had to remain locked on her knees. She heard him move near her, but she could not look up. She had Holy in her power, in her grasp. She called it for the final time, willing it to appear—

"Ugh, Sephiroth, what are you making me do?"

His voice broke her concentration. She froze, Holy in her grasp.

She looked up, longing for his face. There was movement above her, and she knew what was coming.

Cloud's beautiful eyes caught hers, and she saw the terror and the self-doubt in them.

She smiled, and the darkness descended.

"…Aerith." His voice was lost to her, but impossibly, she heard it, even as the darkness consumed her.

A green, swirling materia fell from her cascade of hair.

The Planet made its choice.


End file.
